June 6, 2016

wishing

Summer, 2015

Sometimes wishing hurts, as when you're wishing for something that you know you just can't have. It's so easy to "dwell on dreams and forget to live", as Dumbledore so wisely conveys to Harry in the Sorcerer's Stone. (Yes, wisdom can be discerned from even secular movies, with the right worldview.)

I have so much to be thankful for, so much to be excited about, so much to do... And yet, I know there is one thing I want more than anything in this world, and waiting is... *sigh*... oh, it's so hard!

Yet as I often quote to myself, 'What is easy is worth little; what is fought for tirelessly is priceless.'

I will wait, because I know it will be worth it, and I will thank the Lord for what I have. He is good! So good....




{Post-marriage, Summer 2016}

I'm living in a dream! The very dream I've had since my childhood. The very fantasy of having a husband, a home of my own, a wedding ring around my finger, of having a husband who loves the Lord... This dream came true this April 30th. I've been a Mrs. 3 months, and already it has been a joyful and fulfilling experience.

Brandyn is the most patient man, the most gentle, the most humble, and has strength and a work ethic to match. I can't believe God has blessed me - ME! - with such a man!

In addition to all of the pleasures, I have experienced the temptations in marriage; for example, the impulse to be sarcastic, short, selfish, and overall sinful. I cannot name even once when Brandyn has failed me, but I fail him every day. It is supremely humbling, convicting, and sanctifying to have him daily by my side. And I love him! My affection has in no way dwindled, and neither my devotion. Though I fail him daily, "a righteous man falls seven times and rises again", and so I press on and seek by the Lord's strength to do better.

I am blessed by the opportunity to help him by doing the laundry, cooking, and dishes, and I love waking up at 5am to make him breakfast before work. It's a healthy toil to deny myself a little extra sleep and bless him.

He helps me too! He keeps me on track, pays the bills, answers most of the emails, and makes the decisions in the way only a godly man who loves the Lord can. And I couldn't do any of this without him.

One of the brightest highlights of my day is seeing his face after work, and jumping into his arms for a big hug and kiss.

Best of all, by far, is being able to read the Bible and pray consistently with him every day! I read to him in the early morning hour, and he reads to me before we go to sleep.

I don't deserve this, but I thank the Lord that He gave it to me anyway. This really is a dream come true; no more wishing for me!

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