There is pain that builds character and a pain which over time makes strong
yet the pain of a broken heart sadly lasts so dreadfully long
I fight a losing battle with myself against my hopes and dreams each day
and suffer the consequences with tears when I fail to seek God's way
Puritan Prayer
"Holy Lord, I have sinned times without number, and been guilty of pride and unbelief, of failure to find Your mind in
Your Word, of neglect to seek You in my daily life. My transgressions
and short-comings present me with a list of accusations, but I bless You
that they will not stand against me, for all have been laid on Christ.
Go on to subdue my corruptions, and grant me grace to live above them.
Let not the passions of the flesh nor lustings of the mind bring my
spirit into subjection, but rule over me in liberty and power.
I thank You that many of my prayers have been refused. I have asked
amiss and do not have, I have prayed from lusts and been rejected, I
have longed for Egypt and been given a wilderness. Go on with Your
patient work, answering 'no' to my wrongful prayers, and fitting me to
accept it. Purge me from every false desire, every base aspiration,
everything contrary to Your rule. I thank You for Your wisdom and Your
love, for all the acts of discipline to which I am subject, for
sometimes putting me into the furnace to refine my gold and remove my
dross.
No trial is so hard to bear as a sense of sin. If You should give me
choice to live in pleasure and keep my sins, or to have them burnt away
with trial, give me sanctified affliction. Deliver me from every evil
habit, every accretion of former sins, everything that dims the
brightness of Your grace in me, everything that prevents me taking
delight in You. Then I shall bless You, God of jeshurun, for helping me
to be upright."
I wish to be like the giving tree, giving and giving with unconditional love, until there is nothing left of me. I want to earn treasure in heaven rather than fight for perishing treasures here on earth. I want to make others happy. I want God to be glorified. I want what I do not want because what I want is not right; therefore I want to stop wanting it so that what I want most is that of wanting what God wants more than what I want; but if what I want turns out to be what God wants, than I want nothing more.
Patience, time, and prayer.
