Spiritual Sobriety

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I've been looking at this book on Amazon as I saw it was recommended by a friend, but I'm distraught because its sounds unstable, like a building without nails.

From what I can see from the numerous reviews, quotes, and concise descriptions, the author, Elizabeth Esther, endured a childhood dominated by an unhealthy, unbalanced precedence on legalism and religion. But, from what I can see, unless I am mistaken, her story is nothing more than a self-help exercise that took her from over-zealous to the ability to "think for herself" - aka, ensnared by the ruse that basically, our faith depends on us and all get we do and believe, and not on God, who fashioned us from dust, who created the whole world, who sent His only Son Jesus Christ to for on the cross on our behalf. I could go on, but if I did, I would end up copying and pasting at least half the Bible.

Speaking of the Bible, the only Scripture I found from what I read was that which she idly mocked. If anyone has read her book and knows what it is actually about, would you please save me a $10.99 and help me to understand what she's really getting at in her book?

Thank you in advance!

garden of roses

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Since I was little, I have had three dreams for my life, three desires the Lord planted in my heart from an early age: The first is to one day become a wife and mother; the second, to become an author, for I'm sure you know how I love to write! And thirdly, but certainly not least of all in importance, to live for Christ and strive to give Him the glory with all I have and am.

In the last steps of spring last year just before summer had begun, my soul was in despair over the fear that I might never see my first dream come to pass. I foolishly kept searching and searching for 'him' without fully trusting the Lord to bring him to me, and after having my heart broken to a state I never thought I would recover from, I lost all hope that such a man even existed. No one could really fit the long list of traits I was looking for, surely; no one could ever truly like me for me! I can count on one hand how many men who have ever looked twice at me. I was despairing, and so exhausted of rejection that I decided I would never let another man enter my heart. And yet, I knew if I did this, if I held back, if I put a wall up all around me, I would never truly heal. I had a wound cut deeply into my heart, and the disappointment I felt was like poison in my injury; I was festering in a state of complete doubt of God's sovereignty.

    One day when I told Him bluntly in my prayers during church my despondent thoughts, 'I have stopped believing any such man exists' - and oh, what hopeless tears drenched my eyes with this wretched 'prayer'! - then, praise the Lord, not four hours later at an event after the church service, He showed me someone... one man I had known for a few years, but never really considered. Why would he be interested in me? He is so above me in character and sweetness! Instinct made me cautious from the very second my heart began to hope again; the fear of disappointment still stung bitterly, and I would not let my heart be broken again!

    I had a pleasant conversation with this friend, and soon - much sooner than I expected - my sister came and took hold of my arm to bring me away so that we could head home. I did not want to leave him - it felt good to hope again! - but I tore myself away with my sister's help, and walked from the building to the sidewalk on the way to the car, wondering about what God was doing. I saw a small leaf there on the concrete, shaped like a heart, about the size of the print of my thumb, and I picked it up. I turned it over in my hand and prayed in thanks to the Lord:

"I don't know if this will ever turn out to be anything, if this is really Your will at all, but thank You for teaching me to hope again, Father! Help me to trust in You!"

One month later, this young man began talking to me more often, in my eyes very deliberately seeking to do so, but I kept my heart in check and did not allow any flutterings over what might not be anything more than simple, impartial kindness. Still another month, and we took a walk around the evening church parking lot, talking about photography (as we often did), clouds, sunsets, trees, his family's farm, and whatever else came to mind. We were about to step onto a park path to continue our walk, when I realized it was the time when my family had planned to leave. We started back in that direction, crossing the road back to the sidewalk behind the church building. Before our feet hit the edge of the road, he began to say what caused butterflies to swarm in my chest and made my heart beat out of time: he explained that he had been thinking and praying about it for a long time, and wanted to get to know me better. A pursuing friendship with an eye for marriage, but with more caution than 'dating'. Going out for coffee or dinner and casually spending time together so that we can learn more about each other and see if it may be God's will for us to be together. We talked about limits in touch - no kissing, no hugging, no holding hands - and found that in everything we talked about, we were completely like-minded. He wanted to make his intentions clear to me, that he was interested in me. I told him I would like to think and pray about it, and talk to my family first, and he told me to take my time, that there was no pressure, and he was completely patient.

    My family was not yet ready to leave after all, so we kept walking and talking, both of us, I think, very excited and happy!

That was over a year ago! I can barely remember the old days of despair and disappointment.... For the first time in my life, I have let the Lord lead me in regards to finding the right man, and I believe I have at last! My dear friend meets up with everything on my list; we seem sweetly alike in personalities, and still agree on every subject we have talked on, excepting tomatoes, onions, mustard, and other silly foods that change nothing.

    Brandyn. His name is Brandyn. He has become my very best friend - I found I am closer and more alike in every way to no one else I have ever met! He amazes me... he is the most humble, thankful, joyful man I know! For once in my life, I am not trying to force someone in whom I am interested into the mold I've been searching for all my life, not making petty arguments with myself to say 'No, really, this guy is different!' For once, I am leaning on the Lord, and He is continuing to bless this relationship, and make me all the more certain with every day that I have found the man with whom I want to spend the rest of my life.

Brandyn... I didn't believe that you really existed, and yet there you were all that time, right under my nose! I couldn't see our Lord's plan; I had no knowledge of how He would cause our friendship to become something so precious, something I would not trade for the whole universe! I am so glad the Lord broke me, and showed me His way. Wow! It's you!! I will wait for you, sweetie, because I know it will be so worth it!

good, hard change

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I was sitting in the car, parked in the middle of my home town, thinking about the changes that have happened in my life recently. They have been good changes, many things for which I am extremely thankful! I got a job that I love, yet for some reason as I watch the clock turn, my stomach also turns in nervousness. It's new, and I guess I'm still growing accustomed to it.

    From here, I can see the old lamps of the town that light up the night, lifeless in the sunshine of daytime, and have been there as long as I've lived here, probably longer than I've been alive! It's comforting to see those lamps, to know how long they've been there. 

There is comfort in things that don't change. I don't know why I should fret about change when it's something I'm asking for all the time! 'Please let me get married soon', please make me well again', 'Please, please, please.' I guess it's a lack of trust in God's sovereignty. No, that's exactly what it is. Every day I go to work, I have to remind myself that God is in control. Every day I need His strength because work is hard! I like it too, but that doesn't mean it's easy. As in most cases with discontentment, the answer is thankfulness, so I'll thank the Lord for today, and tomorrow, and the next day, and the next after that... because each day is an undeserved gift, and He deserves my thanksgiving! So, thank You, Lord!

Vanity and Treasure

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Summer, 2015

Just recently to my friend I was confessing a dearth of diligent prayer in my life. Oh, yes, I always pray, but at such random, brief moments in my life. It little glorifies God to receive so very little attention from me each day. This afternoon, I sat down with a bowl of delicious soup my mother had prepared for the family, and I began to pray my routine thanks for the blessing. As I did, many other prayers came to mind, and in thanking God for them all, I was overcome with humility in the sweetest way.

Oh, Lord, I don't deserve any of these gifts! Down to the last breath, everything I have belongs to You! I must better learn to hold onto the treasures of this life lightly, and not greedily drink up all of the vain comforts and pleasures my simple life has to offer. Reading Ecclesiastes, as I have been frequently of late, it's message has impressed upon me more deeply that everything in this life, whether joy or grief; whether labor or ease; whether light or shadow... Everything is completely vain, and as grasping the wind, if not in love for God, to serve and glorify Him. It has made me more aware of my debt to the Lord for all of the innumerable gifts He has bestowed on me, which every second make me more and more deeply in debt to His lovingkindness and mercy.

Humility produces thankfulness.
Thankfulness produces joy.

Oh, what a joyous thing to pray with all ones heart, to cry tears of thankfulness erupting from the realization that I have been blessed beyond my imagination, beyond anything I could ever deserve or repay. Oh, what unfathomable love of God, that He should still care for a selfish wretch like me! Oh, praise be to His name that His love cannot be lost or forfeited, because it depends not on our fickle hearts, but on His unchanging character.

If you have left your First Love, run back into His arms; He is waiting for you, patiently.

Little Burdens

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There are days when when you find you have been running too long without sufficient rest, and all of a sudden, you want to run away by yourself to a secret corner somewhere and just cry from exhaustion. Sometimes even when life is going really well, and there are beautiful things surrounding you on all sides, even then, it can be wearying. Small burdens surface that you didn't even notice were troubling you. Missing someone, fearing for the Salvation of people who are dear to you, working where your job is to sacrifice all your energy to smile and serve and please everybody, friends who are moving away until only God knows how long... Little burdens. The temptation is to look away from our Omnipotent (all-powerful) Creator - who graciously carries us through every trial and will one day dry all pur tears - and think instead only of ourselves and our troubles. Foolish thinking. So today, lonely and burdened as I was, I was tempted to hide, as I always do when I feel this way. But I couldn't. I had responsibilities. So I sat and poured all my effort into singing the Lord's worship. I did not really 'feel' like I was worshipping. But I pray it gave Him some glory. Then came the sermon. Powerful. Personal. Selfless. God-honoring. I needed that today; I needed my eyes to be drawn away from myself again and look unto Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith. Why have I need to fret? All things are in His hands. So the burdens are not so heavy as they were earlier. Finally I remember my Lord and Savior's patient work in the past in my life, guiding me up an unpleasant mountain of adversity, and then down to a green valley of peaceful bliss. He is faithful. So no matter how lonely I may feel, He is with me. No matter how lost my dear friends are, He is mighty to save. No matter how tiring and seemingly chaotic my job becomes, He is my power and peace. No matter how long and far my friends move away, I have a constant Friend in heaven who revives me daily in His awesome love. Futile despair... It does not do any good to worry, it only rips the joy out of our lives, the joy of trust in our Heavenly Savior.

So do not despair when you encounter various trials, my friends. Look unto Jesus, and He will bless your faith and carry you through your trials, one by one.

june's tears dried

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I have been looking back at this old draft of a blog post (below) which I began on June 1st this year.
    I was kind of surprised by it, because presently, my thoughts are so joyful and thankful that I can scarcely imagine having ever been in such a wicked, selfish, despondent state of mind! I have to admit that a little over five months ago, I really was nearly hopeless. I was still experiencing the effects of the most difficult trial I have ever endured, and was at possibly the weakest point in my faith in my entire life. Well, read it for yourself and see what I mean:

Hopes shattered. Dreams lost. Heart broken. It just sounds like a recipe for despair.

I have had innumerable voices in my head, tempting me to replay my miserable experiences over and over again, and other voices shouting over the former din that hope is just around the corner and I just need to stop being miserable for myself.
    Both kinds of voices are exceedingly annoying.
    I have never needed this much time to process a trial and where to go next as right now. I have never felt lonelier, and I have never been more tempted to hold on to bitterness and anger and pain. My eyes are sore from crying, from pouring my heart out to God. In my loneliness, I long for a friend who will listen to my outpouring of confusion, but I fear that all I will receive is advice and encouragement about the future. An aching heart in this condition does not want assurance about the future, which is unsure - a person with a broken foot would never believe that walking on the fractured bones will promote healing - what the heart longs for is peace, rest. Fear about the future may be tied in somewhere, but that is not the issue; it is letting go of the past.
    Praying and praying, I have been begging God to direct my thoughts out of selfishness and into His control. Today, I stopped making excuses and picked up "Passion &; Purity" by Elizabeth Elliot, which offered me exactly what I needed to hear:

The important thing is to receive this moment's experience with both hands. Don't waste it. "Wherever you are, be all there," Jim once wrote. "Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."
    A lovely moonlit night, but I am alone. Shall I resent the very moonlight itself because my lover is somewhere else?
    A cozy candlelit supper with friends - couples, except for me. Shall I be miserable all evening because they are together and I am single? Have I been "cheated"? Who cheated me?
    The phone rings. Oh! Maybe it will be he! It's somebody selling light bulbs. Shall I be rude because he ought to have been somebody else?
    A letter in the mailbox that (for once) doesn't look like junk mail or a bill. I snatch it eagerly. It's from Aunt Susie. Do I throw it aside in disgust?
    I know all about this kind of response. I've been there many times. Something I wrote to Jim once must have revealed my resentment, for he wrote, "Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living." That was exactly what I had let it do.
    There were times, I'm sure, when if anyone had tried to talk to me of the happiness of heaven I would have turned away in a huff. The painful thing was that other folks had not only heaven to look forward to, but they had "all this and heaven, too," "this" being engagement or marriage. I was covetous. When the Apostle Paul wrote to the Roman Christians about the happy certainty of heaven, he went on to say, "This doesn't mean, of course, that we have only a hope of future joys - we can be full of joy here and now even in our trials and troubles."
    Even when I'm feeling most alone - on that moonlit night, in the middle of the candlelit supper, when the phone call and the letter don't come - can I be "full of joy, here and now"? Yes, that is what the Bible says. That means it must be not only true, but possible, and possible for me.
    "Taken in the right spirit these very things will give us patient endurance; this in turn will develop a mature character, and a character of this sort produces a steady hope, a hope that will never disappoint us."
    Taken in the right spirit. These are the operative words. The empty chair, the empty mailbox, the wrong voice on the phone have no particular magic in themselves that will make a mature character out of a lonely man or woman. They will never produce a steady hope. Not at all. The effect of my troubles depends not on the nature of the troubles themselves, but on how I receive them. I can receive them with both hands in faith and acceptance, or I can rebel and reject. What they produce if I rebel and reject will be something very different from a mature character, something nobody is going to like.
    Look at the choices:

    rebellion - if this is the will of God for me now, He doesn't love me.
    rejection - if this is what God is giving me, I won't have any part of it.
    faith - God knows exactly what He's doing.
    acceptance - He loves me; He plans good things for me; I'll take it.

    The words "full of joy here and now" depend on the words "taken in the right spirit." You can't have one without the other. Taken in a spirit of trust, even loneliness contributes to the maturing of character, even the endurance of separation and silence and that hardest thing of all, uncertainty, can build in us a steady hope.

{End quote}

So, the issue I have been dealing with is actually not having anyone at all. Elizabeth was lonely for Jim Elliot, the man she hoped but did not yet know that she was going to marry. I am lonely for my friends who have been gone eleven days on a long road trip, but I am even lonelier for a man; the man God has set aside for me, which this morning at church, I admitted in prayer that I had stopped believing even exists out there somewhere for me. Anyway, regardless of this difference in circumstance, the truth rings out just as clearly for me.
    I am so grateful for women who have been encouraging me, who have known the heartbreak I have been going through and are seeking to support me according to God's Word. I have been so tempted to seclude myself, but I know that is unwise.

{back to the present}

Wow. All this over a boy!

I'm certain that if I could have seen where the Lord was going to lead me just a couple of months after I wrote those sorrowful words, lifting my head in hope would have come far faster. But He had a lesson to teach me, and it could not have been learned any other way except through suffering.

Even just seven days after I wrote those sorrowful, struggling words, God taught me how to hope again. He showed me my foolish depression, and reminded me of His good plan and all the ways in which He had already proven Himself in the past. He corrected my doubtful thinking - I dishonored Him by disbelieving - and gave me a reason to begin hoping again.

I can barely remember those painful days, so much so that they feel more like one long, awful dream that I have been awake from for some time. Now, a bruise on my arm is just a reminder that when I pinch myself, I am wide awake, and the beauty of each day is real.

I thank God that I am not the person I was then in those old days of despair; that even in so short a time, He has grown and strengthened me. The pruning was indeed exceedingly painful, but I am beginning to see the fruit. Rooted and dependent upon Christ, He is giving me the desires of my heart, above and beyond what I could have ever dared ask for!

June's tears have long since been dried, and I find myself smiling at the future! What next, Lord? I will take whatever brings You the most glory! Help me to be faithful.

beware of little sins (Grace Gems)

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(Thomas Brooks)

"Avoid every kind of evil." 1 Thessalonians 5:22

Little sins multiplied, become great. There is nothing less than a grain of sand--yet there is nothing heavier than the sand of the sea when multiplied.

Little sins are very dangerous!
A little leaven, leavens the whole lump.
A little knife, may kill.
A little leak in a ship, may sink it.

Though the scorpion is little--yet will it sting a lion to death! Just so, a little sin may at once bar the door of Heaven, and open the gates of Hell!

The least sin will damn us--if not pardoned by the death of Christ!

(Charles Spurgeon, "Flowers from a Puritan's Garden" 1883)

"Not only do great sins ruin the soul, but lesser sins will do the same. Dallying with temptation, leads to sad consequences."

A small dagger thrust into the heart, will give as deadly a wound as a huge two-handed sword. Just so, a little sin unrepented of, will be as fatal as living in gross transgressions.
 
Death can hide in a drop, and ride in a breath of air. Just so, our greatest dangers lie hidden in little things. The least sin may be a very Pandemonium in your heart. It may conceal a host of evils, and a numerous hive of mischiefs, each one storing great harm.

Believer, beware of little sins. Watch and pray, lest you fall by little by little.

Lord, save me from sins which call themselves little!

freedom

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    I have learned the hard way the cost of an idol - more than once. But it has never hurt this much before. God be praised for being more powerful than my pain! Christ has so faithfully forgiven me for an incomparable, inconceivable number of iniquities which I have committed against Him. Through His grace and salvation, idols no longer have power over me; may I never succumb to their lies ever again.

true excellency

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Worldly men imagine that there is true excellency and true happiness in those things which they are pursuing. They think that if they could but obtain them, that they would be happy. But when they obtain them, and cannot find happiness, they look for happiness in something else, and are still upon the futile pursuit.

But Christ Jesus has true excellency, and so great excellency that when they come to see it they look no further, but the mind rests there. "Yes, He is altogether lovely! This is my Beloved, and this is my Friend!" Song of Songs 5:16

 

-Grace Gems,

Jonathan Edwards

patience, time and prayer

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Around Thanksgiving I wrote a blog post about one of my 'proverbs', a saying I repeat to myself as a timely word of wisdom: 'treasure the little things'. One of the others which I like to repeat quite often is 'patience, time and prayer'. Usually, there is no better remedy for a difficult situation than obeying the implications of this little proverb; to wait for the Lord to act and in the meantime to pray without ceasing, to not lose faith in Him but trust that He knows best and will accomplish not necessarily what is for our comfort, happiness, or anything at all that we want... but that which is for our good, and His glory.

Of course, there are times when we are in situations when we have to act ourselves. I am not a great fan of the popular phrase 'Let go and let God' because it implies complacency, a fatalistic attitude - as though God will do whatever He wants anyway so it doesn't matter what I do, or the fluffy theology that we can simply float on throughout life and everything will turn out just fine.

God's Word specifically calls believers to action on more occasions than one, possibly the greatest being to 'love one another' - to be selfless, to put others' needs above Your own, which is Christlike behavior, and might I add, much easier said than done! So, the complacent 'castle in the cloud' theology is out. And so is that attitude of fatalism. What we do most definitely does make a difference. Every person who ever lived is going to have to give an account to God for whatever righteousness or evil was committed by them during that time - no exceptions. So don't waste the time you have. Don't fall into the temptation of believing it doesn't matter, because after we die, the rest of eternity begins, and by then, there is no going back, no remedying what has been done. The time for mercy will be over. And this is important: Doing what is wrong is just as bad as not doing what you know is right.

"Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin."
James 4:17

And now, back to my point.

I have found the phrase, 'patience, time and prayer' to be immensely comforting over the past several years of my life. I have held it close, repeated it often, recited it to friends countless times. When I feel least in control, it helps me remember that God is. He is the Author of time, the Answerer of my prayers, the Master of long-suffering; I have much to learn, but He is a wonderful Teacher.

Be patient while waiting or while suffering (James 1:2-4; Colossians 1:9-12).

Take the time to read God's Word, have your mind renewed by its God-breathed power and truth (Romans 12:2; James 1:22), and remember that He is in control and works all things together for good to those who love Him and believe in His Son, Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord (Romans 8:28; Romans 10:9).

And finally, pray like the dickens! (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

good Soil

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"[...] Have I been making a fair show in the flesh without having a corresponding inner life? Good growth takes place upwards and downwards at the same time. Am I rooted in sincere fidelity and love to Jesus? If my heart remains unsoftened and unfertilized by grace, the good seed may germinate for a season, but it must ultimately wither, for it cannot flourish on a rocky, unbroken, unsanctified heart. Let me dread a godliness as rapid in growth and as wanting in endurance as Jonah’s gourd; let me count the cost of being a follower of Jesus, above all let me feel the energy of his Holy Spirit, and then I shall possess an abiding and enduring seed in my soul. If my mind remains as obdurate as it was by nature, the sun of trial will scorch, and my hard heart will help to cast the heat the more terribly upon the ill-covered seed, and my religion will soon die, and my despair will be terrible; therefore, O heavenly Sower, plough me first, and then cast the truth into me, and let me yield thee a bounteous harvest"
- Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning devotion, January 11th

treasure the little things

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Thanksgiving is here. As exciting as it can be, shopping for dinner rolls or cans of cranberry sauce, rushing around decorating and going someplace to celebrate the plenty with which God has blessed this generation, I am going to assume that many of you feel you do not have much to be thankful for. Perhaps there are not many or even any incredibly wowing events in your life at the moment. Perhaps it is quite the opposite, that there is many a hardship which you are struggling through presently, many a person whose relationship with you seems irreparable. Perhaps there has been death or sickness, or other suffering in your life which puts that empty hollow in your chest, so that you feel you do not have the happiness you believe you should on such a holiday. Well, I hope to remedy this abject thinking. I am not going to give a long lecture on the pilgrims and their hardships and their thankfulness on the providence of God, although this is a wonderful fact of history to be reminded of. I want to explain the title of this chapter and how it applies to tomorrow. Read on.

Almost exactly a year ago when I began taking some portrait sessions for others, I came up with a slogan, if you will, for my photography: treasure the little things. I suppose I have not actually begun to use it yet on Alabaster Rose Photography (my Facebook page), but I say it often anyway, because aside from photography, I have short proverbs or mottos I like to quote to myself and others, more of which I shall probably blog about soon enough, but this one seemed best fitting at present. As said before, in this life there oft seems to be very little to be thankful for. Now I make a practice to never allow myself to ask God why things are not better than they are. Instead, I thank Him for the little things. Believe me, when you really think about it, you have so much to thank Him for.

Every single day when I wake up, I thank God for the day.

It is so simple, but life itself is an incredible blessing which we do not deserve! I could go on for pages and pages about God’s grace to everyone in allowing us to live even though we are all sinners and deserve death! It is part of His ‘common grace’, the grace given to both those who are Saved by faith in Christ Jesus, and to those who have never heard His name or worse, outright refused Him. Life is a precious gift that everyone takes for granted.

I thank God for every single meal I eat.

I have only ever gone hungry a very few times in my entire life. Not everyone can say that. In fact, there are millions of people in the world who can probably say that they have only ever had their stomachs filled a very few times in their life! Some perhaps have never even had an entire meal before. I get to wake up every day and have the problem of deciding what I want to eat. This is a gift from God. May I never dare to forget such a gift! On Thanksgiving especially I always think about the turkey, the cranberry sauce, and all of the staples of the season which are really privileges and blessings, not requirements, and one which many others certainly do not have the means to enjoy as we do. This is another subject I could go on talking about for hours, as it is one that breaks my heart; the idea of starving children compared with we who are rich – for we who have funds enough to purchase pleasures on top of our daily needs certainly are very, very rich – gorging ourselves on more food than our stomachs need because of the tradition of celebrating plenty. It is barbaric. It is heartbreaking. I thank the Lord for my plenty, and I pray for the poor over nearly every bite, and give when I can so that they may be filled. (James 2:15-16, Luke 6:31)

I thank God for my family.

Obviously not everyone has family. Who might they celebrate with on Thanksgiving? Might they celebrate at all? I have family. In fact, there is not one close member of my family – not one grandparent, not one cousin, not one brother or sister or parent who has died in my life. The great-grandparents whom I was too young to know have died. Distant relations and friends of friends have died. Many, many pets have died. In fact, the closest creatures to me who have ever died, human or animal, have been my cats. I cannot know this heartbreak, though I know that I shall have my share of it one day. This presence of all of the people whom I love in my life is a most rare and precious gift. Better still, though not all Saved, I do not have any family members with whom I do not get along. And I will thank the Lord even should these relationships crumble. I will thank the Lord even when I lose to death the people closest to me. He is sovereign, and I will thank him for the time I have had getting-along with and loving my family.

I thank God for books, I thank Him for knitting, I thank Him for blankets, for tea, for paper, my house, my own bedroom, for my last living and very dear cat, for lamps, candles, pens, my laptop, writing, memories, thick socks, the biting cold weather, my leaf collection, my moss necklace from one of my best and dearest friends, flowering plants, the piano, pumpkin pie, dry and moist skin, chocolate milk, the Hobbit movies and book, long and short car trips, singing, walking, sleeping, our cozy sofas, recipes, long nights, long mornings, long in-betweens, for babysitting, for all of my dear friends, and yes, even for my bright pink bedroom walls.

The point is, when it comes down to it, we have much to be thankful for. Count your blessings this season; remember how much God has given to you. And treasure the little things.

trust

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"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight."
-Proverbs 3:5-6

Lord, I do not know what the future holds, but I know that you hold the future.

the Everlasting Arms

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Charles Spurgeon, one of the greatest and most popular preachers in the history of the Church, his words still ringing true and relevant and convicting in these times as much as when the ink was fresh upon his papers over a century ago! I have many favourites of  his morning and evening devotionals, and this morning is no different:

God—the eternal God—is himself our support at all times, and especially when we are sinking in deep trouble. There are seasons when the Christian sinks very low in humiliation. Under a deep sense of his great sinfulness, he is humbled before God till he scarcely knows how to pray, because he appears, in his own sight, so worthless. Well, child of God, remember that when thou art at thy worst and lowest, yet “underneath” thee “are everlasting arms.” Sin may drag thee ever so low, but Christ’s great atonement is still under all. You may have descended into the deeps, but you cannot have fallen so low as “the uttermost;” and to the uttermost he saves. Again, the Christian sometimes sinks very deeply in sore trial from without. Every earthly prop is cut away. What then? Still underneath him are “the everlasting arms.” He cannot fall so deep in distress and affliction but what the covenant grace of an ever-faithful God will still encircle him. The Christian may be sinking under trouble from within through fierce conflict, but even then he cannot be brought so low as to be beyond the reach of the “everlasting arms”—they are underneath him; and, while thus sustained, all Satan’s efforts to harm him avail nothing.

    This assurance of support is a comfort to any weary but earnest worker in the service of God. It implies a promise of strength for each day, grace for each need, and power for each duty. And, further, when death comes, the promise shall still hold good. When we stand in the midst of Jordan, we shall be able to say with David, “I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.” We shall descend into the grave, but we shall go no lower, for the eternal arms prevent our further fall. All through life, and at its close, we shall be upheld by the “everlasting arms”—arms that neither flag nor lose their strength, for “the everlasting God fainteth not, neither is weary.” 

This reminded me of the blessed hymn,

"Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace."

I have many a 'motto' or 'proverb' if you will which I oft repeat to myself and quote to my friends. One of these, and my favourite of all, is 'In Christ alone'. It is a reminder to me that my salvation is in Christ alone, that my hope of heaven is in Christ alone, that my life is to be lived for and in Christ alone, that my strength for each day lies in Christ alone, and that at the end of every day, when once I look back on my many failures and sins over the course of those sunlit hours then behind me, that I am still in Christ alone, and where I am weakest, He is more than sufficient; and more than that, Paul during his sufferings and afflictions heard from the Lord this:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." (from 2 Corinthians 12:9)

And Paul continues in verse 10 of the same chapter,

"Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."

In Ephesians six, we are called to 'stand firm', to 'be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might',  to 'put on the full armor of God'. In 1 Timothy 6:11-12, we read,

"But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses."

And finally, Colossians 1:16,

"For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him."

All for Jesus.

Assuming you are truly Saved, truly believing that Christ is God and Saviour and Lord of all, then I say, let us obey these commands in God's Word, trust in full faith that He will empower and protect us, ever upholding us in His 'everlasting arms', and praise Him every day in trial or blessing, in famine or plenty, in drought or downpour.

Let us live in Christ alone.

the giving tree

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There is pain that builds character and a pain which over time makes strong

yet the pain of a broken heart sadly lasts so dreadfully long

I fight a losing battle with myself against my hopes and dreams each day

and suffer the consequences with tears when I fail to seek God's way

Puritan Prayer
"Holy Lord, I have sinned times without number, and been guilty of pride and unbelief, of failure to find Your mind in Your Word, of neglect to seek You in my daily life. My transgressions and short-comings present me with a list of accusations, but I bless You that they will not stand against me, for all have been laid on Christ. Go on to subdue my corruptions, and grant me grace to live above them. Let not the passions of the flesh nor lustings of the mind bring my spirit into subjection, but rule over me in liberty and power. I thank You that many of my prayers have been refused. I have asked amiss and do not have, I have prayed from lusts and been rejected, I have longed for Egypt and been given a wilderness. Go on with Your patient work, answering 'no' to my wrongful prayers, and fitting me to accept it. Purge me from every false desire, every base aspiration, everything contrary to Your rule. I thank You for Your wisdom and Your love, for all the acts of discipline to which I am subject, for sometimes putting me into the furnace to refine my gold and remove my dross. No trial is so hard to bear as a sense of sin. If You should give me choice to live in pleasure and keep my sins, or to have them burnt away with trial, give me sanctified affliction. Deliver me from every evil habit, every accretion of former sins, everything that dims the brightness of Your grace in me, everything that prevents me taking delight in You. Then I shall bless You, God of jeshurun, for helping me to be upright."

I wish to be like the giving tree, giving and giving with unconditional love, until there is nothing left of me. I want to earn treasure in heaven rather than fight for perishing treasures here on earth. I want to make others happy. I want God to be glorified. I want what I do not want because what I want is not right; therefore I want to stop wanting it so that what I want most is that of wanting what God wants more than what I want; but if what I want turns out to be what God wants, than I want nothing more.

Patience, time, and prayer.

the parlor of life

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I have been attempting to read more of late. And write. And spend time with people. And balance an impossible number of activities on my plate as I saunter through the parlor of life.

So many distractions. So many interesting things that tempt me to turn away from my course. I look back and can see the marks on the rugs where I had been dragging my feet against the Lord's will for my life.

    Up ahead, some windows are open, some yet still closed. Where is He taking me? What is the destiny that lies on the not-yet-tread path before me?

To make my life a little more balanced, I usually choose one or two activities that must be accomplished and pour my whole day into making certain they are deliberately and effectively taken care of.
    Oh, the many weddings I have seen these past two seasons -- folders and folders of photos to edit! Oh, the plans, the books to read, the people to see... My sweet sister phrased it as being such a blessing that we have so many beautiful things to compete for our time. A blessing indeed. That is a better way of looking at it than, 'I never have enough time to do everything!'

My older sister, Lilly, is off in California presently, visiting two of her dear friends who are there for college. She has been excitedly planning this trip for many weeks, and now it is thenceforth commenced! I have been praying for her often since I awoke this morning; ill as I have been with a cold, I could not accompany her with my mom and other sister to the airport to see her off, but I know she is in the Lord's hands. She has arrived there safely, and I am certain will have a full and precious time there, and return home also in safety.

    With all hope, my younger sister, Emily, will be able to win their homecoming volleyball game tomorrow evening. When determined, she and her friends make an excellent team. These girls have never played better than they have this season, so much have they improved since last year when they started out practically from scratch!

    I also hope to be able to enjoy some fellowship with some of my dear youth group after the game -- Ultimate Frisbee (although I will probably only watch and take pictures), some delicious food, and time in God's Word and prayer.

    And this Saturday, if all goes well and I am healthy enough, I will be visiting my dear friend, second-cousin, and pen-pal on campus at her college. Freshly graduated, Elaine is my friend from Illinois whom I only very rarely get to spend time with. We became best friends through writing letters faithfully since early 2007, and I have not seen her in months. I am very excited that she has come to Minnesota for college; visits will surely be more regular than before!

    Ah, life.
It does become crowded, and not everything occurs just the way you want it to, nor is everything that occurs something you would have wanted in the first place! In my case, however, I am learning to be thankful for everything. I am so thankful to be me; a writer and sister and daughter and granddaughter and friend, a cat-owner and household launderer, a tree-climber and tea-drinker and Once Upon A Time fan -- who is by the way quite excited for the season premier this Sunday! -- a two-year pianist (still awful at it), a bookworm, a reforming sugar addict (Truvia, my sweet-tooth friends, Truvia), and, best of all, a child of God.

    If there is one thing I have learned, the best remedy for feeling 'down' is listing off all of the gifts God has given me, and simply saying 'Thank You!'

The parlor of life does not seem quite as crowded now. It is easier to not drag my feet where God is leading me. The windows, open or closed, do not frighten or concern me as much as they have been.

    Remembering how God has cared for me all of my days so far helps me have faith that He will continue to uphold me and keep His promises for the future. And, as every Christian so joyfully hopes in,
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." 

-Romans 8:28

Know... all things... good... love... purpose...

That hope certainly makes the burden of each day far, far easier to bear!