june's tears dried

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I have been looking back at this old draft of a blog post (below) which I began on June 1st this year.
    I was kind of surprised by it, because presently, my thoughts are so joyful and thankful that I can scarcely imagine having ever been in such a wicked, selfish, despondent state of mind! I have to admit that a little over five months ago, I really was nearly hopeless. I was still experiencing the effects of the most difficult trial I have ever endured, and was at possibly the weakest point in my faith in my entire life. Well, read it for yourself and see what I mean:

Hopes shattered. Dreams lost. Heart broken. It just sounds like a recipe for despair.

I have had innumerable voices in my head, tempting me to replay my miserable experiences over and over again, and other voices shouting over the former din that hope is just around the corner and I just need to stop being miserable for myself.
    Both kinds of voices are exceedingly annoying.
    I have never needed this much time to process a trial and where to go next as right now. I have never felt lonelier, and I have never been more tempted to hold on to bitterness and anger and pain. My eyes are sore from crying, from pouring my heart out to God. In my loneliness, I long for a friend who will listen to my outpouring of confusion, but I fear that all I will receive is advice and encouragement about the future. An aching heart in this condition does not want assurance about the future, which is unsure - a person with a broken foot would never believe that walking on the fractured bones will promote healing - what the heart longs for is peace, rest. Fear about the future may be tied in somewhere, but that is not the issue; it is letting go of the past.
    Praying and praying, I have been begging God to direct my thoughts out of selfishness and into His control. Today, I stopped making excuses and picked up "Passion &; Purity" by Elizabeth Elliot, which offered me exactly what I needed to hear:

The important thing is to receive this moment's experience with both hands. Don't waste it. "Wherever you are, be all there," Jim once wrote. "Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."
    A lovely moonlit night, but I am alone. Shall I resent the very moonlight itself because my lover is somewhere else?
    A cozy candlelit supper with friends - couples, except for me. Shall I be miserable all evening because they are together and I am single? Have I been "cheated"? Who cheated me?
    The phone rings. Oh! Maybe it will be he! It's somebody selling light bulbs. Shall I be rude because he ought to have been somebody else?
    A letter in the mailbox that (for once) doesn't look like junk mail or a bill. I snatch it eagerly. It's from Aunt Susie. Do I throw it aside in disgust?
    I know all about this kind of response. I've been there many times. Something I wrote to Jim once must have revealed my resentment, for he wrote, "Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living." That was exactly what I had let it do.
    There were times, I'm sure, when if anyone had tried to talk to me of the happiness of heaven I would have turned away in a huff. The painful thing was that other folks had not only heaven to look forward to, but they had "all this and heaven, too," "this" being engagement or marriage. I was covetous. When the Apostle Paul wrote to the Roman Christians about the happy certainty of heaven, he went on to say, "This doesn't mean, of course, that we have only a hope of future joys - we can be full of joy here and now even in our trials and troubles."
    Even when I'm feeling most alone - on that moonlit night, in the middle of the candlelit supper, when the phone call and the letter don't come - can I be "full of joy, here and now"? Yes, that is what the Bible says. That means it must be not only true, but possible, and possible for me.
    "Taken in the right spirit these very things will give us patient endurance; this in turn will develop a mature character, and a character of this sort produces a steady hope, a hope that will never disappoint us."
    Taken in the right spirit. These are the operative words. The empty chair, the empty mailbox, the wrong voice on the phone have no particular magic in themselves that will make a mature character out of a lonely man or woman. They will never produce a steady hope. Not at all. The effect of my troubles depends not on the nature of the troubles themselves, but on how I receive them. I can receive them with both hands in faith and acceptance, or I can rebel and reject. What they produce if I rebel and reject will be something very different from a mature character, something nobody is going to like.
    Look at the choices:

    rebellion - if this is the will of God for me now, He doesn't love me.
    rejection - if this is what God is giving me, I won't have any part of it.
    faith - God knows exactly what He's doing.
    acceptance - He loves me; He plans good things for me; I'll take it.

    The words "full of joy here and now" depend on the words "taken in the right spirit." You can't have one without the other. Taken in a spirit of trust, even loneliness contributes to the maturing of character, even the endurance of separation and silence and that hardest thing of all, uncertainty, can build in us a steady hope.

{End quote}

So, the issue I have been dealing with is actually not having anyone at all. Elizabeth was lonely for Jim Elliot, the man she hoped but did not yet know that she was going to marry. I am lonely for my friends who have been gone eleven days on a long road trip, but I am even lonelier for a man; the man God has set aside for me, which this morning at church, I admitted in prayer that I had stopped believing even exists out there somewhere for me. Anyway, regardless of this difference in circumstance, the truth rings out just as clearly for me.
    I am so grateful for women who have been encouraging me, who have known the heartbreak I have been going through and are seeking to support me according to God's Word. I have been so tempted to seclude myself, but I know that is unwise.

{back to the present}

Wow. All this over a boy!

I'm certain that if I could have seen where the Lord was going to lead me just a couple of months after I wrote those sorrowful words, lifting my head in hope would have come far faster. But He had a lesson to teach me, and it could not have been learned any other way except through suffering.

Even just seven days after I wrote those sorrowful, struggling words, God taught me how to hope again. He showed me my foolish depression, and reminded me of His good plan and all the ways in which He had already proven Himself in the past. He corrected my doubtful thinking - I dishonored Him by disbelieving - and gave me a reason to begin hoping again.

I can barely remember those painful days, so much so that they feel more like one long, awful dream that I have been awake from for some time. Now, a bruise on my arm is just a reminder that when I pinch myself, I am wide awake, and the beauty of each day is real.

I thank God that I am not the person I was then in those old days of despair; that even in so short a time, He has grown and strengthened me. The pruning was indeed exceedingly painful, but I am beginning to see the fruit. Rooted and dependent upon Christ, He is giving me the desires of my heart, above and beyond what I could have ever dared ask for!

June's tears have long since been dried, and I find myself smiling at the future! What next, Lord? I will take whatever brings You the most glory! Help me to be faithful.

beware of little sins (Grace Gems)

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(Thomas Brooks)

"Avoid every kind of evil." 1 Thessalonians 5:22

Little sins multiplied, become great. There is nothing less than a grain of sand--yet there is nothing heavier than the sand of the sea when multiplied.

Little sins are very dangerous!
A little leaven, leavens the whole lump.
A little knife, may kill.
A little leak in a ship, may sink it.

Though the scorpion is little--yet will it sting a lion to death! Just so, a little sin may at once bar the door of Heaven, and open the gates of Hell!

The least sin will damn us--if not pardoned by the death of Christ!

(Charles Spurgeon, "Flowers from a Puritan's Garden" 1883)

"Not only do great sins ruin the soul, but lesser sins will do the same. Dallying with temptation, leads to sad consequences."

A small dagger thrust into the heart, will give as deadly a wound as a huge two-handed sword. Just so, a little sin unrepented of, will be as fatal as living in gross transgressions.
 
Death can hide in a drop, and ride in a breath of air. Just so, our greatest dangers lie hidden in little things. The least sin may be a very Pandemonium in your heart. It may conceal a host of evils, and a numerous hive of mischiefs, each one storing great harm.

Believer, beware of little sins. Watch and pray, lest you fall by little by little.

Lord, save me from sins which call themselves little!

true excellency

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Worldly men imagine that there is true excellency and true happiness in those things which they are pursuing. They think that if they could but obtain them, that they would be happy. But when they obtain them, and cannot find happiness, they look for happiness in something else, and are still upon the futile pursuit.

But Christ Jesus has true excellency, and so great excellency that when they come to see it they look no further, but the mind rests there. "Yes, He is altogether lovely! This is my Beloved, and this is my Friend!" Song of Songs 5:16

 

-Grace Gems,

Jonathan Edwards

mana from heaven

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"[...]He could easily leave me destitute--apart from Him, I must go hungry and thirsty, a beggar and in rags. All to Him I owe! Do I praise Him for His bounty as I ought?

The daily bread is to be received in faith. Morning by morning the men of Israel gathered the manna. My Lord would prove me, by keeping me a perpetual pensioner on His charity, and a continual guest at His table. I can never be self-sufficient. I never can walk alone. I am taught to cling and trust--to look up and wait in hope.

[...] I cannot thrive on the grace of yesterday, as nourishing and ample as that was for yesterday's need. I am dependent on God hour after hour, and minute after minute, for . . .
  fresh grace,
  fresh wisdom,
  fresh peace to garrison my heart and mind,
  fresh strength to overcome the world, the flesh and the devil."

-Grace Gems, Alexander Smellie
"The Secret Place" 1907

weather or not

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I am not much of one for beating around the bush, so here I go...

Whether or not others agree, I have - all winter and spring long - been finding the occasional snow to be quite a treat; whether or not some or all others complain that April is no time for snow and we 'deserve' better weather, I firmly say, "It is God's prerogative to send us whatever weather He so desires. Whatever He deems best is best, and I am not clay to argue with the Potter who formed me."

Last Saturday night, my mother read aloud a most excellent excerpt from Jerry Bridges' book, Trusting God. I am so glad that she felt led to share it with me and my sisters, and I feel led right now to pass along the blessed words to you. Hang on to your hat, unless you find yourself guilty.

"Complaining about the weather seems to be a favorite American pastime. Sadly, we Christians often get caught up in this ungodly habit of our society. But when we complain about the weather, we are actually complaining against God who sent us our weather. We are, in fact, sinning against God (see Numbers 11:1).
    Not only do we sin against God when we complain about the weather, we also deprive ourselves of the peace that comes from recognizing our heavenly Father is in control of it. [...] Whether the weather merely disrupts my plans or destroys my home, I need to learn to see God's sovereign and loving hand controlling it.
    The fact is, for most of us, the weather and the effects of nature are usually favorable. The tornado, the drought, even the snowstorm that delays our flight are the exception not the rule. We tend to remember the "bad" weather and take for granted the good. However, when Jesus spoke about the weather, He spoke about the goodness of God: "He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous" (Matthew 5:45).
    Though God sometimes uses the weather and other expressions of nature as instruments of judgment (see Amos 4:7-9), He most often uses weather as an expression of His gracious provision for His creation. Both saint and sinner alike benefit from God's gracious provision of weather. And, according to Jesus, this provision is not merely the result of certain fixed, inexorable physical laws. God controls those laws. He causes His sun to rise, He sends the rain.
    God has indeed established certain physical laws for the operation of His universe; yet moment by moment those laws operate according to His direct will. Again Alexander Carson put it so well when he said, "The sun and the rain minister to the nourishment and comfort equally of the righteous and the wicked, not from the necessity of general laws, but from the immediate providence of Him who, in the government of the world, wills this result."
    We as Christians need to stop complaining about the weather and instead learn to give thanks for it. God, our heavenly Father, sends us each day what He deems best for all of His creation."

Very good stuff. In fact, I would have written all about this in my own words, but I really could not have said it better myself.

So, whether or not creation is yielding weather to your liking, please choose to be thankful and even praise God for the "bad" weather. He knows best.

good Soil

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"[...] Have I been making a fair show in the flesh without having a corresponding inner life? Good growth takes place upwards and downwards at the same time. Am I rooted in sincere fidelity and love to Jesus? If my heart remains unsoftened and unfertilized by grace, the good seed may germinate for a season, but it must ultimately wither, for it cannot flourish on a rocky, unbroken, unsanctified heart. Let me dread a godliness as rapid in growth and as wanting in endurance as Jonah’s gourd; let me count the cost of being a follower of Jesus, above all let me feel the energy of his Holy Spirit, and then I shall possess an abiding and enduring seed in my soul. If my mind remains as obdurate as it was by nature, the sun of trial will scorch, and my hard heart will help to cast the heat the more terribly upon the ill-covered seed, and my religion will soon die, and my despair will be terrible; therefore, O heavenly Sower, plough me first, and then cast the truth into me, and let me yield thee a bounteous harvest"
- Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning devotion, January 11th

the Everlasting Arms

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Charles Spurgeon, one of the greatest and most popular preachers in the history of the Church, his words still ringing true and relevant and convicting in these times as much as when the ink was fresh upon his papers over a century ago! I have many favourites of  his morning and evening devotionals, and this morning is no different:

God—the eternal God—is himself our support at all times, and especially when we are sinking in deep trouble. There are seasons when the Christian sinks very low in humiliation. Under a deep sense of his great sinfulness, he is humbled before God till he scarcely knows how to pray, because he appears, in his own sight, so worthless. Well, child of God, remember that when thou art at thy worst and lowest, yet “underneath” thee “are everlasting arms.” Sin may drag thee ever so low, but Christ’s great atonement is still under all. You may have descended into the deeps, but you cannot have fallen so low as “the uttermost;” and to the uttermost he saves. Again, the Christian sometimes sinks very deeply in sore trial from without. Every earthly prop is cut away. What then? Still underneath him are “the everlasting arms.” He cannot fall so deep in distress and affliction but what the covenant grace of an ever-faithful God will still encircle him. The Christian may be sinking under trouble from within through fierce conflict, but even then he cannot be brought so low as to be beyond the reach of the “everlasting arms”—they are underneath him; and, while thus sustained, all Satan’s efforts to harm him avail nothing.

    This assurance of support is a comfort to any weary but earnest worker in the service of God. It implies a promise of strength for each day, grace for each need, and power for each duty. And, further, when death comes, the promise shall still hold good. When we stand in the midst of Jordan, we shall be able to say with David, “I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.” We shall descend into the grave, but we shall go no lower, for the eternal arms prevent our further fall. All through life, and at its close, we shall be upheld by the “everlasting arms”—arms that neither flag nor lose their strength, for “the everlasting God fainteth not, neither is weary.” 

This reminded me of the blessed hymn,

"Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace."

I have many a 'motto' or 'proverb' if you will which I oft repeat to myself and quote to my friends. One of these, and my favourite of all, is 'In Christ alone'. It is a reminder to me that my salvation is in Christ alone, that my hope of heaven is in Christ alone, that my life is to be lived for and in Christ alone, that my strength for each day lies in Christ alone, and that at the end of every day, when once I look back on my many failures and sins over the course of those sunlit hours then behind me, that I am still in Christ alone, and where I am weakest, He is more than sufficient; and more than that, Paul during his sufferings and afflictions heard from the Lord this:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." (from 2 Corinthians 12:9)

And Paul continues in verse 10 of the same chapter,

"Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."

In Ephesians six, we are called to 'stand firm', to 'be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might',  to 'put on the full armor of God'. In 1 Timothy 6:11-12, we read,

"But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses."

And finally, Colossians 1:16,

"For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him."

All for Jesus.

Assuming you are truly Saved, truly believing that Christ is God and Saviour and Lord of all, then I say, let us obey these commands in God's Word, trust in full faith that He will empower and protect us, ever upholding us in His 'everlasting arms', and praise Him every day in trial or blessing, in famine or plenty, in drought or downpour.

Let us live in Christ alone.

the giving tree

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There is pain that builds character and a pain which over time makes strong

yet the pain of a broken heart sadly lasts so dreadfully long

I fight a losing battle with myself against my hopes and dreams each day

and suffer the consequences with tears when I fail to seek God's way

Puritan Prayer
"Holy Lord, I have sinned times without number, and been guilty of pride and unbelief, of failure to find Your mind in Your Word, of neglect to seek You in my daily life. My transgressions and short-comings present me with a list of accusations, but I bless You that they will not stand against me, for all have been laid on Christ. Go on to subdue my corruptions, and grant me grace to live above them. Let not the passions of the flesh nor lustings of the mind bring my spirit into subjection, but rule over me in liberty and power. I thank You that many of my prayers have been refused. I have asked amiss and do not have, I have prayed from lusts and been rejected, I have longed for Egypt and been given a wilderness. Go on with Your patient work, answering 'no' to my wrongful prayers, and fitting me to accept it. Purge me from every false desire, every base aspiration, everything contrary to Your rule. I thank You for Your wisdom and Your love, for all the acts of discipline to which I am subject, for sometimes putting me into the furnace to refine my gold and remove my dross. No trial is so hard to bear as a sense of sin. If You should give me choice to live in pleasure and keep my sins, or to have them burnt away with trial, give me sanctified affliction. Deliver me from every evil habit, every accretion of former sins, everything that dims the brightness of Your grace in me, everything that prevents me taking delight in You. Then I shall bless You, God of jeshurun, for helping me to be upright."

I wish to be like the giving tree, giving and giving with unconditional love, until there is nothing left of me. I want to earn treasure in heaven rather than fight for perishing treasures here on earth. I want to make others happy. I want God to be glorified. I want what I do not want because what I want is not right; therefore I want to stop wanting it so that what I want most is that of wanting what God wants more than what I want; but if what I want turns out to be what God wants, than I want nothing more.

Patience, time, and prayer.

the Solid Rock

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My Hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus' name

On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand

the devouring of books...

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...and the adventures of spring

It's always a treat when one is able to sleep-in an extra hour and then wake up to see sunshine, feel the warmth of the day, and breathe a thankful prayer to God.

Lately, I've wanted nothing more than to READ. I've been having the worst time with self-control when it comes to reading my Bible first thing in the morning. I actually did it today, before anything else. As always, just finally obeying God brought a beautiful peace and joy into the day.

    Yesterday, I read Leviticus 26, which is about God promises, either for good things should they obey Him, or for punishment should they disregard Him and fall into sin. This is the first time I've ever read Leviticus all the way through (just chapter 27 left, then I'm done!), and I can absolutely see it's value as part of God's Word. That is to say, a lot of people don't find it necessary because it's so full of SACRIFICE and LAWS, and all kinds of things that Christians don't need in order to live to God in this age.

    But it is necessary.

    God takes sin very seriously, and He wants His people to be set apart from the sinful ways of the world, to live a righteous life and to give Him the glory. He promises to bless our obedience and provide for our needs, but He will discipline us if we should fall away into temptation, forgetting His promises.

    I believe God has preserved this record (Leviticus) for us to remind us of the importance of godliness, holiness, true faith; it isn't a prayer-a-day kind of lifestyle, it's COMPLETE DEVOTION to God! If He was willing to DIE to spare us from an eternity in hell - we who are sinful, unworthy sheep who will stray from fields of hearty food and protection for one blade of withered grass - then we better not waste this one short life we have, but cooperate with the Holy Spirit in order to be sanctified, in preparation for God's one day perfecting us and - at last! - the eternal bliss of heaven.

Oh, I could go on and on about all that forever!

Along with suchlike weighty thoughts, I've been having lots of pretty little dreams at night and a great deal of story inspiration. Having discovered Shannon Hale's eight month-old book Princess Academy: Palace of Stone, I've found an ocean of new ideas and insight into characters I've loved for years from the prequel, Princess Academy (which I've read four times). I always marvel at Shannon Hale's knowledge of her characters - she always knows just what they want, just how to express all that they think and feel, and just when to give them what they need or want most. I'm a terribly distracted reader, so it takes me forever to finish a book, but my word... when I sit down with this, it's really, really hard to put it away!

    As far as my novel-in-progress, I've been able to finish some exhaustive editing and am adding piece by piece to a new chapter. It takes self-control to jump on the laptop and work on my novel instead of rushing onto Pinterest or 700 other websites at my fingertips - it's so easy to run out of time in a day by wasting it on useless games. I don't like having hardly accomplished anything useful by the end of a day. When I procrastinate, I'm reminded of a favorite quote from Princess Academy:

No wolf falters before the bite

So strike

No hawk wavers before the dive

Just strike

When struggling with the desire to do something else besides writing, I say 'no' to my distractions and command myself, 'just do it, just work on it, and you'll be so, so glad you did'. (Which is pretty much what I had to do to get myself to read my Bible, even on such a beautiful, motivating day.)

I bought a new purse from Thirty-One, a cross-body, just large enough for a notepad, a smallish book, my mp3, a pen, various re-charger cords, my keys, my glasses case, travel toothbrush, flashlight, travel Bath & Body lotion, and my library card. Now, that probably sounds like a lot, but I usually carry all that plus two or three MORE books, a small journal, an extra one or two pens and a pencil, a camera or yarn and knitting needles, and sometimes a thermal tote besides all of that if I'm babysitting and need to pack food.

    So, yeah... I decided to downsize a bit, and although I love having a variety of things to read and no small amount of trinkets I probably won't end up using with me wherever I go, it has been nice to not have too much extra weight on my shoulders (literally). Besides, the new little purse is a cute style, and in a favorite teal/mint color that seems REALLY popular right now.

Tea. Thesaurus. Cashews. Books. Novel. Music. Blue dusk. Spring. God's Word. Life.

It has been a lovely day, full of much more than I mentioned to the brim of what a mostly-relaxing day can contain, including errands to the grocery store, bank, JoAnne Fabrics & Crafts (my little sister is making a Steampunk 1880's dress for her drama class performance next month), a visit to one of my best friends (the library; I now have four more books I've never read before), and naturally frequent trips to my imagination - but if I went into detail, you'd never reach the end of this post, or worse, be bored stiff before you came close. ;)
 

Thank you for reading this, even if only a tiny bit; the number of page-views I get encourage me to keep blogging, more than you know! God bless,

let us not sleep

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From Charles H. Spurgeon's Morning and Evening devotional:

Morning, March 5
"Let us not sleep, as do others." - 1 Thessalonians 5:6

Christian and Hopeful, as they journeyed towards the Celestial City, said to themselves, “To prevent drowsiness in this place, let us fall into good discourse.” Christian enquired, “Brother, where shall we begin?” And Hopeful answered, “Where God began with us.” Then Christian sang this song—

“When saints do sleepy grow, let them come hither, And hear how these two pilgrims talk together; Yea, let them learn of them, in any wise, Thus to keep open their drowsy slumb'ring eyes. Saints’ fellowship, if it be managed well, Keeps them awake, and that in spite of hell.”

Christians who isolate themselves and walk alone, are very liable to grow drowsy. Hold Christian company, and you will be kept wakeful by it, and refreshed and encouraged to make quicker progress in the road to heaven. But as you thus take “sweet counsel” with others in the ways of God, take care that the theme of your converse is the Lord Jesus. Let the eye of faith be constantly looking unto him; let your heart be full of him; let your lips speak of his worth. Friend, live near to the cross, and thou wilt not sleep. Labour to impress thyself with a deep sense of the value of the place to which thou art going. If thou rememberest that thou art going to heaven, thou wilt not sleep on the road. If thou thinkest that hell is behind thee, and the devil pursuing thee, thou wilt not loiter. ...in holy fellowship continue to watch and pray that ye enter not into temptation.

portmanteau

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I just learned an interesting list of facts on the internet dictionary concerning 'portmanteaus' --- a word I never recall having heard before! (Love it when that happens....) Apparently, a portmanteau is basically a word made up of a combination of words. Like this:

This portmanteau abbreviation of "web log"--(we)blog--is simultaneously a verb, a noun, and a sphere: one "blogs" when writing their "blog" which is displayed in the "blogosphere." The noun form of blog is a website that functions as an online journal in which an author can display their personal opinions, experiences and insights. One "blogs" in the verb form when they add to this journal using online posts.

Maybe this isn't news to you, but what about this:

It would be a terrible shame if portmanteau were not itself a portmanteau. The word originally referred to a large traveling case made of stiff leather, derived from a combination of the French porter, meaning "to carry," and manteau, meaning "mantle" or "cloak." The word's literary significance is the work of the great neologist himself, Lewis Carroll. In Through the Looking-Glass, Humpty Dumpty explains to Alice that the strange compound words she hears in Wonderland are "like a portmanteau--there are two meanings packed up into one word."

So, I learned something totally new today! How about you? ;)

deeds of might

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Charles H. Spurgeon's Morning and Evening devotional:

November 26th, Morning

"Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might."  

Ecclesiastes 9:10

“Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do,” refers to works that are possible. There are many things which our heart findeth to do which we never shall do. It is well it is in our heart; but if we would be eminently useful, we must not be content with forming schemes in our heart, and talking of them; we must practically carry out “whatsoever our hand findeth to do.” One good deed is more worth than a thousand brilliant theories. Let us not wait for large opportunities, or for a different kind of work, but do just the things we “find to do” day by day. We have no other time in which to live. The past is gone; the future has not arrived; we never shall have any time but time present. Then do not wait until your experience has ripened into maturity before you attempt to serve God. Endeavour now to bring forth fruit. Serve God now, but be careful as to the way in which you perform what you find to do—“do it with thy might.” Do it promptly; do not fritter away your life in thinking of what you intend to do to-morrow as if that could recompense for the idleness of today. No man ever served God by doing things to-morrow. If we honour Christ and are blessed, it is by the things which we do today. Whatever you do for Christ throw your whole soul into it. Do not give Christ a little slurred labour, done as a matter of course now and then; but when you do serve him, do it with heart, and soul, and strength.

But where is the might of a Christian? It is not in himself, for he is perfect weakness. His might lieth in the Lord of Hosts. Then let us seek his help; let us proceed with prayer and faith, and when we have done what our “hand findeth to do,” let us wait upon the Lord for his blessing. What we do thus will be well done, and will not fail in its effect.

accepted

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Charles H. Spurgeon

Morning by Morning devotional

September 23

“Accepted in the beloved.” 

Ephesians 1:6

What a state of privilege! It includes our justification before God, but the term “acceptance” in the Greek means more than that. It signifies that we are the objects of divine complacence, nay, even of divine delight. How marvellous that we, worms, mortals, sinners, should be the objects of divine love! But it is only “in the beloved.” Some Christians seem to be accepted in their own experience, at least, that is their apprehension. When their spirit is lively, and their hopes bright, they think God accepts them, for they feel so high, so heavenly-minded, so drawn above the earth! But when their souls cleave to the dust, they are the victims of the fear that they are no longer accepted. If they could but see that all their high joys do not exalt them, and all their low despondencies do not really depress them in their Father’s sight, but that they stand accepted in One who never alters, in One who is always the beloved of God, always perfect, always without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, how much happier they would be, and how much more they would honour the Saviour! Rejoice then, believer, in this: thou art accepted “in the beloved.” Thou lookest within, and thou sayest, “There is nothing acceptable here!” But look at Christ, and see if there is not everything acceptable there. Thy sins trouble thee; but God has cast thy sins behind his back, and thou art accepted in the Righteous One. Thou hast to fight with corruption, and to wrestle with temptation, but thou art already accepted in him who has overcome the powers of evil. The devil tempts thee; be of good cheer, he cannot destroy thee, for thou art accepted in him who has broken Satan’s head. Know by full assurance thy glorious standing. Even glorified souls are not more accepted than thou art. They are only accepted in heaven “in the beloved,” and thou art even now accepted in Christ after the same manner.

morning star

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For my graduation, a handful of friends gave me various books, mostly devotionals (which I love! Thank you, everyone!) One of these is 'Wonderful Names of Our Wonderful Lord' by Charles Hurlburt & T.C. Horton
    One is supposed to read a single page every day for a complete year (well, three-hundred and sixty-five days).

Anyway, one of the devotions (Day 8) was so beautiful, I just have to share it with you all!

A Star

I shall see him, but not now: I shall behold him,

but not nigh: there shall come a Star out of Jacob.

Numbers 24:17

What could be more beautiful or more fitting than God calling our Lord "a star"? Those who know Him best may say, "One day I will see him, but not now. I will behold him, but not from here." Far beyond our world of trouble and care and change, He shines with undimmed light, a radiant, guiding Star to all who will follow Him --- a morning Star, promise of a better day.

I at first thought it best to let the words speak for themselves, but I want to tell you what I gathered from this special devotional: Firstly, it is such a treasured thought among genuine Christians, that is the knowledge that one day we shall finally see our Savior and Lord! And not just for a moment (although that would be more than enough to suffice for all of the troubles on earth), but for the rest of eternity. Blessed thought indeed!

    And what good thinking was another word placed along with 'trouble' and 'care' --- the important word 'change'. God is righteous, holy holy holy, and unchangeable. This world is ever-changing, ever-worsening, ever-darkening, so that Christ shines still brighter daily through this darkness.

Beautiful words, and how true that we can scarcely wait to meet our Lord at long last, our Morning Star!

Plant Life . . . all whimsy aside

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Owl City.

I still remember the first time I ever learned about his music. My family had just arrived home from the grocery store, and my older sister, Lilly, was watching the music video for Fireflies on YouTube. Truth be told, my first impression was that it was a pretty creepy video. But I couldn't get the tune out of my head, and then I started to learn the lyrics piece by piece . . . Before I knew it, the magic of the song had not only caught my attention but fully enchanted me. Soon, I was also mesmerized by the rest of Owl City's Ocean Eyes album, then it became my favorite band, and viola! Here we are.

I used to love the music just because it was beautiful, and yes even magical. But the more I listened, the more I came to realize that there was something underneath, something essential behind every rise and fall in the music. Cave In, Tidal Wave, Meteor Shower . . . they made precious allusions to the grace of God through Jesus Christ, and I still remember falling asleep one night as I listened, and began to realize that Adam Young is a Christian.

If nothing else, Owl City's blog post with his rendition of my favorite song, In Christ Alone, made it all too clear.

When All Things Bright and Beautiful was released, I must have listened to the songs a hundred times over. My grandparents gave me the album for Christmas last year, and I kept listening, loving the music more and more, (especially Galaxies!).

    Now, here's what I'm getting at:

    The first few times I listened to Plant Life, I was left a little confused by the pictures it gave of a haunted house and death and despair. It upset me that it was the finale of the album. But these words which I was alerted to by a fellow Owl City fan and that Adam young wrote on his own blog about the song totally changed my perspective, and make Adam's Salvation clearer than ever before:

All whimsy aside [...] this song’s deepest level of symbolism parallels Jesus Christ as the only ray of hope I have in this haunted house of a world. For me, sometimes it’s easy to focus on the bloody nightmares that inevitably show themselves from time to time, but despite such dismal distractions, it’s obvious the Lord has a way of planting victorious hope all around, and sometimes such beautiful blooms of color and vibrancy crop up out of nowhere when I least expect them. At times it requires wisdom to see them, other times it’s stunningly obvious, but regardless of circumstance, these angelic reminders are tremendously potent and absolutely real. Thus I continue to keep my knees black-and-blue, constantly on the hardwood floor, wholeheartedly thanking my Savior for the tremendous grace I’ve been given, for I’m not praying to the ceiling anymore.

[...]

At the end of the day, I can only answer for myself and I’ll be the first to admit I’m nothing but a worthless sinner, day in and day out. I’m as imperfect and flawed as they come. Thus, when the sun disappears behind the clouds and life suddenly turns into a haunted house, I cling to Jesus with every fiber of my being because He is unfailing, He is absolute, He is steadfast and His grace is deeper and wider than my imagination can even fathom. In Him and Him alone is where I’ve discovered a hope more bright and beautiful than words can possibly describe.

{ read the full blog post here }

 For the record, I did start loving Plant Life before I read this --- indeed, long before --- but doesn't it just sweeten it?

I feel like I'm bragging. "See how fabulous MY favorite musical artist is?" I don't mean to make it sound that way; I just want to share my delight in having a brother in Christ who ultimately writes magic and lives to shine "brighter than a shooting star" for God's glory. It's inspiring.

"You are the light of the world.

A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; 

nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket,

but on the lampstand,

and it gives light to all who are in the house. 

Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works,

and glorify your Father who is in heaven."

Matthew 5:14-16

the drawback to our destiny

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Every Christian who is growing closer to God sees their sins more clearly, and it can disappoint them in their life-long walk toward holiness. 

I know I've felt this way before; so sinful that I wonder how God could possibly love ME, and that His grace could really be enough to cover all MY sins. I think in the worst possible way --- selfishly. Yet even during this thought process I am reminded ever so gently of that beautiful devotional by Charles H. Spurgeon, 'Looking Unto Jesus' (from June 28, which, by the way, is in only two days!)

It is ever the Holy Spirit’s work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan’s work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, “Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of his children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus.” All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self: he tells us that we are nothing, but that “Christ is all in all.” Remember, therefore, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee—it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee—it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument—it is Christ’s blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Jesus, the author and finisher of thy faith. We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by “looking unto Jesus.” Keep thine eye simply on him; let his death, his sufferings, his merits, his glories, his intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look to him; when thou liest down at night look to him. Oh! let not thy hopes or fears come between thee and Jesus; follow hard after him, and he will never fail thee.

    “My hope is built on nothing less

    Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness:

    I dare not trust the sweetest frame,

    But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.”

I've posted this before --- it's my favorite devotional probably because it's the one that I need to hear the most. It's so easy to make prayer to God an idol, or reading His Word, or giving money to church. It's easy to fall into the trap of wanting to be seen by others and recognized for the good things you do. Good deeds may start out as genuinely wanting to give God all the glory, but it doesn't take long in this era of "self" theology to get caught up in just about anything BUT Jesus.

    Life as a Christian ought to not only start with the Savior, but remain so the whole course, and of course eventually end there. And then the new life, we being made perfect at last for an eternity with Christ the Lord, finally begins.

I'll admit it, I'm in the rut mentioned above; I know Christ ought to be number one, and I do try to make Him so, but I have a secret attachment to the things of the world. Alright, I'll be perfectly honest and admit a couple of them.
    Music. I have a weakness for the better Disney songs like Out There from The Hunchback of Notre Dame, or exciting pieces written for PS2 games I love to play like Guide You Home which is sung by Gabriel Mann and Rebecca Kneubuhl. I claim my favorite song is In Christ Alone, and it is, but why is it that when I have my mp3 in hand, I'm tempted to listen to anything except that song?

    Another thing in my life which so easily entangles me is entertainment --- or rather more specifically, movies. Movies and TV and suchlike are designed to draw people in. I, for example, cannot walk into Best Buy, Sam's Club, or even Walmart without being distracted by the screens. And I have a deep-seated love for stories anyway, so it's even harder to resist Doctor Who or Lord of the Rings when my family is playing them, or really any films or shows. One of my favorite movies is Fireproof, but then why is it that I hardly ever watch it or suggest it to friends, while I do both of these concerning just about every other movie I see?

    I know why.

    The devil doesn't want me to proclaim the truth of the words 'In Christ Alone' by listening to that precious song and singing every lyric without shame in the grocery store for anyone to hear. The devil doesn't want people to know that Christ is the One who heals marriages, as Fireproof shows so clearly. No matter what the case, the devil really does work SO HARD to tempt us to turn our eyes anywhere but upon Jesus.

So, let it be our constant, undying prayer --- not just for our own souls, but for all the saints, all of the brethren of Christ --- that we would put Him first and fulfill our true destiny which is and always was meant to be giving Him the glory, forever and ever.

surrounded

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"As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
So the LORD surrounds His people
From this time forth and forever."

-Psalm 125:2

I don't know about you, but as a Christian in an ungodly, wicked world, I feel surrounded. Surrounded by the wickedness; surrounded by temptations; surrounded by things that seem so good but are WAY overpriced. ("For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself?" -Luke 9:25)

It's so easy to be like Peter, who glanced away from Jesus for just one moment at the wild storm, and began to sink (Matt. 14:29-31). If we spend all of our time looking at the crashing waves, the lightning, and we let ourselves begin to tremble at every boom of thunder, our faith will shrink, and so will our hope.

"...he [satan] is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, "Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of His children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus." All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self; He tells us that we are nothing but that "Christ is all in all." Remember, therefore, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee --- it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee --- it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument --- it is Christ's blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the author and finisher of thy faith. We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul." 

    -Charles H Spurgeon, Morning and Evening (devotional)

As it says in the verse at the very top, 'the LORD surrounds His people'. We seem surrounded by things that would tear us down, and that's the devil's ploy; if he can get us to look away from Christ for even a second, we easily tear ourselves apart with doubts and despair. But what does the Bible repeat so often for our benefit? That God is Almighty (Gen. 17:1; Job 5:17; Rev. 19:6). What do we need to fear if God is with us? If He surrounds us, there is no stronger bulwark of protection against the storms.

And what else does the Psalm at the top say? Not only that 'the Lord surrounds His people' but that He does so 'From this time forth and forever.' If you ask me, that's some assurance!

In God --- in His power, His grace, His love, His Son, His Holy Spirit --- we cannot fail. 

He surrounds us. And let us never doubt Him again.

death to life

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"If we confess our sins,

He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins

and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

If we say that we have not sinned,

we make Him a liar

and His word is not in us."

-1 John 1:9-10

"Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

    For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. And not only this, but we also exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.

    Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned — for until the Law sin was in the world, but sin is not imputed when there is no law. Nevertheless death reigned from Adam until Moses, even over those who had not sinned in the likeness of the offense of Adam, who is a type of Him who was to come.

    But the free gift is not like the transgression. For if by the transgression of the one the many died, much more did the grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abound to the many. The gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned; for on the one hand the judgment arose from one transgression resulting in condemnation, but on the other hand the free gift arose from many transgressions resulting in justification. For if by the transgression of the one, death reigned through the one, much more those who receive the abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.

    So then as through one transgression there resulted condemnation to all men, even so through one act of righteousness there resulted justification of life to all men. For as through the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, even so through the obedience of the One the many will be made righteous. The Law came in so that the transgression would increase; but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, even so grace would reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord"

                - Romans 5

"How deep the Father's love for us

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only son

To make the wretch His  treasure"

♫♪