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I have had an small but meaningful event recently which has made my heart a very heavy thing at the thought. That people would actually rather believe that they 'evolved' from a rock rather than were created with care and love by a meticulous and all-powerful God is both wholly perplexing and heart-wrenching. When I hear people use the words, 'a million years ago', I usually smirk because I know that's just ridiculous, but when I think that people tried to dream that up as some excuse for not believing in God... it grieves me for them. However, I also rejoice in God that He would not let me fall away.
Now, more to the point, this is the event: When I was searching for pictures online of flying buttresses --- just felt an urge to know what such a word could possibly define --- I happened upon a blog by a man, and one of the posts greatly disturbed me. It was short, to the point, and felt like a stab in the heart. He wrote, "God is an omnipresent myth." I wrote a comment on his post, trying to explain the Truth to him. He wrote back saying that he was actually glad (for some sad reason) that he chose not to believe in God. I was definitely grieved at that, but also angry that someone could be so defiant of their Maker! I wanted to write back with all sorts of facts to prove to him that God not only exists, but is working nonstop all around us, in us, and through us. My mom didn't want me to get into any heated discussion, but oh-ho, I thought, I'm at least posting about it because my heart breaks into pieces when I don't live what God created me for: for Him, for His glory, to love and obey Him.
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This, along with Stepping Heavenward, has been inspiring me to live for Christ in a much more vigorous way. Anyone will pray for awhile, read God's Word for awhile, and do good deeds for awhile if they have that "I'll get to heaven if I do" mentality, but I know there needs to be so much more than that. If I am so halfhearted toward God when He had His own Son die for me, I dishonor Him and harm our relationship. I feel the need to sacrifice the things I so greatly enjoy so that I can do the things God wants. For instance, I have a terrible weakness for good stories, but if I choose them over feeding the hungry, giving to those in need, or overall doing God's will, I misuse the gifts and opportunities He has given me. I want to stand, not sit in front of the TV screen. I want to run, as Paul said in Hebrews 12:1-2 ---
"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
I must pray and discover what God's will is and not try to seek out my destiny on my own. And I have every confidence that He will lead me and one day quench my thirst for purity.
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